Gay Is the New Retard

So, Annette Benning and Julianne Moore were nominated for Golden Globes for their performances in The Kids are All Right. And the only reason I watched the movie was all that Oscar buzz floating around out there. Two great actresses + a drama about parents and their teenage kids = Oscar Potential.

Except . . . that’s not quite on target. The movie itself is adequate, but nothing special. And the performances are certainly of the caliber one expects from Benning and Moore (whom I love, for the record). But they are no more exceptional in this film than in any other.

The difference? In this film they play a married couple, which means they act like regular women, but they kiss each other.

If it sounds like I was upset by the lesbian-focused storyline, it’s not because I was, in any way, upset by the lesbian-focused storyline. As one who is unaffiliated with any sexual preference party, I am quite content with the inclusion of movie or television couples of any combination. What I find disturbing, however, is the assumption that two fine actresses are somehow reaching – demonstrating superior, and thus award-worthy – acting talent when they play gay characters.

Julianne Moore was nominated last year for an exceptional performance in A Single Man (for which Colin Firth was also nominated for playing a gay man). In that case, she was graced with a well-written, complex character to portray; she earned that nomination through some seriously intense acting. Annette Benning, too, has turned in some Oscar-worthy performances over the years. And there’s nothing to say they couldn’t turn in remarkable performances as lesbians. But in order to do that, they need a script and a movie that provide that opportunity. The Kids are All Right is not that movie.

I watched The Kids are All Right from beginning to end waiting for that key moment that said, “OSCAR.” I knew it had to be in there. I mean . . . buzz has to come from somewhere, right? The moment never came. Yes, there WAS that scene when Moore told her family how much she loved them and how hard relationship maintenance can be over time. She cried. Benning cried. There was drama and crying all around. But did it scream “This is the stuff awards are made for?” Not really.

So, what’s up with all the buzz and nominations? Do we seriously hand out nominations and awards to congratulate straight actors for playing gay characters? Oh, wait . . . yes we DO! Witness Sean Penn winning Best Actor two years ago for playing (gay) Harvey Milk – stealing the Oscar from Mickey Rourke for his remarkable (but, unfortunately, straight) performance in The Wrestler.

Academy members and Oscar hopefuls love any role that requires portrayal of a mentally or physically challenged character (or a character living in Europe, especially Germany or Poland, during WWII). I’m not making this up. Look at the list of nominees and winners over time – you’ll see. Today, it appears that we can add “homosexual” to that list.

Frankly, I don’t see that the skill required to play a gay character compares with that required to play someone with a mental illness or a physical handicap. Sorry. I just don’t. Basically, the acting requirement for playing a gay character is this: play a regular person, but pretend you’re attracted to other actors who happen to be the same gender as you. These people are actors! They earn their money convincing others that they are someone else! They engage in hot and heavy sex scenes with other actors regardless of their personal feelings for those individuals in real life. And we think it’s extraordinary when they do so with someone of the same sex?

Here’s an idea. Let’s start nominating gay actors for straight roles. Surely such a job is equally as challenging! I mean, imagine the effort it must have taken Rock Hudson to convince audiences he was in love with Doris Day (although, now that I think about it . . . that might have taken some effort even for a straight man . . .).

Sean Hayes (most well known for his eight year stint as the gay character, Jack, on Will and Grace), has expressed his belief that an actor’s sexual preference in real life should not be a factor in his believability in a role – gay or straight. He has notably stated for the press: “When I play a gay character I want to be as believable as possible. And when I’m playing a straight character I also want to be as believable as possible. So the less that people know about my personal life, the more believable I can be as a character,” and “If you see a movie and I’m in it, and the first thing you think of is who I’m sleeping with, then you’re not watching the performance; you’re watching the personality.”

And yet, look at how many viewers How I Met Your Mother acquired after the public found out Neil Patrick Harris, who plays the womanizer, Barney, on the show, is gay. “OMG! You have to watch this show! You’d never believe it! He’s so good at playing a straight man!”

Of course he is, people! He’s an A-C-T-O-R! That’s his J-O-B!

Julianne Moore and Annette Benning play lesbians in The Kids are All Right. Did I believe they were gay? Sure. Do I think they deserve an award for convincing me? I do not. Let’s give the awards to people who do something extraordinary which, honestly, being gay is not.

-Kristin